I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize