I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
