After last night, I could never be a politician.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Im part way to drunk.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
