Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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