FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
