Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry xXlaurynnXx hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(626): View more from California

Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.

(478): View more from Georgia

Moment of silence for the loss of that option.

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(716): View more from New York

come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I'm drinking too much free beer

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now

(440): View more from Ohio

Ps I am

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(817): View more from Texas

Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.

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