i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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