He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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