So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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