doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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