please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
