tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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