You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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