you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We don't watch enough power rangers
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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