Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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