so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
How does it feel to date your dad?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
