He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
