Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize
