i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
