You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
