Jerry, you need to find god
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize