he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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