i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
