a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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