I want to walk on stilts...naked
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
