White coat. Heels.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
