Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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