I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
