you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
