I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
