if i can run in heels then i can drive
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
