Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
