i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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