His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
