He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
