Fine. I'll sleep in my office
At least make sure they are 18
Why
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
