I am puke
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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