i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
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