I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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