I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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