spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
