this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
