did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Two words: blizzard sex
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
