i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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