she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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