I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
