I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
