Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
