Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
