I think my fart just growled at me.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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