real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm always down for nudity.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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