god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize