..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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