East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
How naked do you want me to be?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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