I smell stomach acid.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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