Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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